Online dating can really be amusing. A lot of people even find it workable and gratifying. In fact, there are more benefits other people do not realize unless they try online dating themselves.
However, not all online dating escapades produce positive results in the end. There are instances wherein the expectations sometimes go out of hand when executed in reality.
Take for example the case of a person who was lucky enough to find somebody he thinks is the right girl for him. He replied on her profile and when he received an answer from the girl, they started to communicate frequently.
What happens on their online dating is a series of continuous communication, exchanging messages, chatting continuously, and spending hours over the phone.
Because of the instant chemistry that evolved each time they talk to each other, the guy had emotionally built up the possibility of having a true, and not virtual, relationship with the girl. That is why he decided to set up their first real date.
As they day came when they agreed to meet for lunch, everything seem to have crumbled into pieces. The girl appeared to be somewhat different what the guy had expected or recalled. What made the meeting even worse is that what used to be a cheerful, lively conversation they usually had whenever they talk on the phone or chat in the Internet suddenly becomes so stiff and strained.
And as the date comes to an end, the girl said that she had a nice time and enjoyed the day. The problem suddenly draws in. The guy does not know what to say or do.
This kind of situation is not uncommon in the world of online dating. There are many cases wherein two people just don’t click when they start to meet each other in person.
A lot of people who are involved in online dating usually ask why such things happen. They find it hard to believe that the person they have learned to like (and love) online is entirely different when in person.
Hence, they try to assess themselves what went wrong. Is it their point of view that has changed? Were they deceived by the other person? Or was it just wrong from the very start?
The problem with most people who indulge into online dating is that they fail to keep in mind that when they communicate to their dates online, they are communicating, not with a person but with a series of texts, with no person involved. This is because any answers can always be fabricated or the other person can always deceive his or her date.
So, when this happens, personal meetings would really end up like the one mentioned above. This is because reality is entirely different from what the computer screen illustrates.
Nevertheless, the problem is still there. One should know how to gradually exit from the situation without having to hurt the other person’s feelings.
So, for people who wish to know how to do this, here’s a list of some useful tips that you can use and make rejections a little easier to bear.
1. It would be better not to delve on the issue about not having the right chemistry in the first place, or pointing out the reason why an individual cannot pursue the dating any longer.
In order to break things easily, it would be better for a person not to mention anything that will focus on the issue of not getting the expectations one had started to build before they even meet in person.
It is wrong to emphasize on the physical qualities of the person that is why the other person does not want to communicate with him or her anymore.
2. It is best for the concerned person to try to explain to the other person the importance of finding each other’s right mate in order to build a happy relationship.
An individual should at least try to make an extra effort on explaining how chemistry works with two people and that lack of such value could be detrimental in one’s relationship.
3. Excuses will only make the matter worst.
Rejections should be instigated in such a way that the other person will not be hurt. However, this does not mean that the person will have all the right to make such lousy excuses.
There are instances wherein the other person can sense the effort in making lame defenses and would only be hurt more.
4. People should be more consistent on their decisions.
There are instances wherein people start to tell the other person that their relationship will not work, but in the long run, comes back rushing into the other person’s life because of the realization that he or she is wrong about his or her decisions after all.
This will only make the matter worst and will only generate negative feelings.
5. it’s best for the concerned individual to let the other person express his or her sentiments and ask questions. Then, the concerned person should try to exert a little effort in answering the questions as honestly as possible.
The bottom line here is that when a person gets disappointed after meeting his or her online date in person, it would be better to set things straight at once and put an end on the situation before it gets heated up.
Moreover, the other person should learn how to empathize with the other person so as to understand what they would feel if they were on their shoes.
It is all a matter of being sensitive at the same time being honest on what the other person would feel.