Your Guy Is Out There: Online Dating Tips for Women Over 50
by Ken Solin
There wouldn’t be a need for dating advice if women over 50 just wanted to find a date. I’ve lost count of the number of women who told me they prefer Friday night with Ben and Jerry and Netflix to dating a man with no potential. Women want and deserve more than that. Tricks and gimmicks are useless so I only offer real-life answers to questions such as why men and women over 50 are perfect for each other, why emotional honesty is critical dating and in relationships, and what it means to date smart.
Online dating is the one place where women over 50 are unequal to men. Every aspect of it is skewed in favor of men, which frequently leaves women feeling at the mercy of male daters. My vast dating experiences level the online dating playing field.
I’ve been writing about dating after 50 for AARP, The Huffington Post, Maria Shriver, and several other online magazines more than a decade. I’ve received several thousand comments and emails from readers. My perspective on men derives from facilitating men in groups for thirty years. I’m also a date coach for women over 50. My coaching clients have succeeded by using the information shared in this book. I met my partner online four years ago using these techniques.
I understand dating from both genders’ perspectives, and what’s abundantly clear is that a surprisingly large number of men over 50 are stuck in anachronistic dating paradigms. Some believe dating younger women is a smart dating strategy. These dream seekers are best left to their fantasies. Unlike women, most of who are dating and relationship savvy, many men are clueless. But there are a fair number of men over 50 that appreciate women over 50. I share how to separate the winners from the losers.
First, there are more women over 50 online than men, and making it more difficult is that too many guys over 50 date like a kid in a candy store who wants to taste every flavor. While women have a tougher time dating online there are too many success stories to ignore. Men who are open to meeting women their age abound but their online profiles often don’t provide any clues. Men’s typical two sentence online profiles relegate women to guess whether to contact them.
While I can’t promise every woman over 50 will find the man of her dreams, I can promise that following my suggestions will alter the way women over 50 date online. Don’t listen to anyone who insists online dating is a numbers game or that kissing lots of frogs is necessary. When women over 50 date smart they discover that finding a great guy isn’t remotely like looking for a needle in a haystack. My clients and a few of my women friends I’ve coached have found good men, but finding a life partner takes time. Success requires stamina, patience and determination.
I deliberated writing extensively about the emotional aspect of dating but realized I’d be remiss if I didn’t because of its importance in relationships. The emotional aspect of dating is the root of gender conflict. The thousands of comments my dating articles have received reflect disappointment on both sides. My intention is to close the gap by addressing dating after 50 on an emotional level because that’s where relationships live.